Saturday, March 27, 2010

Butter Face

I remember the first time I heard one of my guy friends use the term "Butter face". I was later informed that it refers to a particularly unfortunate girl as having a "nice body, but-her-face". As a young woman, I found it completely derogatory at first. In the end however, cleverness won by a hair, or with regards to the match up between the Huskies and West Virginia game: a basket.

The first half of the sweet sixteen bout was ugly. Not ugly like your Aunt's hideous Christmas sweater, ugly like her sweater on steroids - think blinking lights and bedazzled reindeer. Quincy Pondexter incurred two offensive fouls within the first six minutes of the game, and left for the remainder of the half with a total of three, leaving UW without one of their top scorers for nearly five minutes. I am also suspicious of some evil genius watching the game; someone with a rift against the Huskies, who designed a joystick that kept any shot UW put up, completely out of range.

The biggest surprise other than Bobby Huggins not wearing a Guido track suit

to match his slicked-back coiffure, was the Mountaineers Deniz Kilicli (aka the Balkan Balla'), who led West Virginia's team in scoring at the end of the half. About Kilicli - the freshmen didn't play much this season, but against UW, he seemed to shine. One more interesting fact on Kilicli - he bares a striking resemblance to Lurky, Rainbow Bright's cartoon nemesis (also one of my childhood favorite stuffed animals).

The second half wasn't much more glamorous than the first. Washington simply turned the ball over too many times. Isaiah Thomas didn't have even close to the game he had vs. Marquette. Matthew Bryan-Amaning was non-existent. About ten minutes in, they let West Virginia become heroes, and De'Sean Butler and cast sent the Huskies back home to contemplate their loss over a Starbuck's latte in Seattle.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Cornell on the Cobb

I can't predict what the rest of their tournament is going to look like, but Cornell is no joke -- these scholars aren't just interested in graduating suma cum laud, they want to win. Not only did they snag a "W" today, they creamed a talented Wisconsin team.

Led by Louis Dale who scored 26 points and Ryan Wittman who added 24, the Big Red ended the Ivy League Tournament drought that has lingered for the last 30 years.

Looks like Badger fans will be getting an early start in preparation for the upcoming Packer's season!

Cornell is set to play top seeded Kentucky next Thursday. I hope the Wildcats have done their homework, because Cornell's basketball GPA keeps getter better.

Sacre Bleu!

Today's game vs. top seeded Syracuse wasn't so sweet for Sacre and the Zags. Marc Few was "few-ming" as he saw his team lose by a mind boggling 22 points.

Maybe you can chock it up to seasonal depression, but no one from Gonzaga seemed to show up this afternoon. While they may have looked like a different team today, the reality is that they have so much talent - in fact they have fabulous players every season, from Casey Calvary to Adam Morrison to Dan Dickau.

The problem in my opinion is due to a lack of leadership. Sure Matt Bouldin is one of the country's most fundamentally sound players, but I swear the guy needs an adrenaline shot! The guy never changes expression. Additionally, it seemed like Steven Gray peaked earlier in the regular season, and hasn't had the drive that fans were able to count on like they did back in his less twisted coiffure days -- back when he had his "halfro" (a do somewhere in the middle between and afro and a short style).

Whatever the Zags problems are, they will definitely be back next season with an allstar cast, including Gray, freshmen center Kelly Olynyk, Robert Sacre and stunner Elias Harris. The Bulldogs will come back next year minus Matt Bouldin and his tall look-a-like Will Foster, but they are likely to be tournament contenders, and will undoubtedly have had the necessary time to come up with some new and exciting hair styles. One suggestion however, lay off the Lord of the Ring do's.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Meet Me at the Alamo

I came up with this title earlier this morning when I had predicted that two Texas teams would make it to the 2nd round. It turns out only one, Texas, who knocked off Wake Forest, will be cattle herding it up amongst their UTEP peers. Oh well, the title stays, not just because it's catchy, but because of my love for John Wayne.

Fast forward to 9pm and the list of winners has migrated to the right; that much closer to the middle of my bracket.

One note about my bracket, or should I say brackets. I have devised three different brackets to satisfy my own March Madness. The first, displays my heterotopian view of the teams that I want to win (fyi, some picks are about as likely to win as Elton John performing a singing tour for the troops), the second bracket determines who I think will most likely win, as far as RPI and talent are concerned, finally, the third follows the tournament in real time, where the blanks are filled in those who are actually moving on. I know, reality bites, like Winona Ryder said.

As far as accuracy is concerned, the only surprises today with regards to my predictions, were Old Dominion's upset over Notre Dame and Ohio's victory over the Hoyas. Murray State beat Vanderbilt, which probably shocked a few, but I don't have too much faith in the Ivy Leaguers -- remember they're not running for political office.

Before I catch up on my own Z's, I want to give a shout out to the teams I consider "Sleepers", starting with St. Mary's. The Gaels hail from the West Coast Conference, where the only team that makes headlines is Gonzaga. Sandham and the rest of his Aussie Posse (nice rhyme if I do say so myself), took it to Richmond with unmatched play in the interior from their Big Man, who combined for 29 points and 12 rebounds in the 80-71 victory.

Believe it or not, I think Utah St. also has "Sleeper" potential. I've come to this conclusion after doing extensive research, including the donning of a lab coat, the use of a beaker, as well as exploding gasses -- er, I went on the teams' website and caught their conference championship game. The Aggies were 14-2 leading in the tourney and beat BYU earlier during the season. Just keep an eye on them as they take on Texas A&M tomorrow, you might be shocked that Cache isn't just the valley their University is located at.

I won't delve into any more potential "upsetters" with the exception of the University of Washington. The beginning of their season showed a team stumbling like Bambi to find its legs post John Brockman's departure to the NBA last year. However with 7 of 7 in wins leading into the tournament, not to mention the Pac-10 title, they have much to be proud of, and should not be taken lightly by any opponent, particularly when you have stars like Quincy "Q-Pon" Pondexter and Isaiah Thomas who along with their teammates, accumulate the most points per game in all the Pac-10. I see them making a big Splash on Saturday vs. New Mexico.

For the most part, the games today were excruciatingly close, depending on who you were rooting for. Both Kansas' annihilated their opponents, but no big surprise there. In fact, most of the matches were relatively close. Look at Villanova's win over Robert Morris - the Wildcats barely clawed their way to a victory.

However, now that the day is over, I'm able to slip into my Snuggee, turn on Project Runway and prepare for tomorrow's slurry of match ups. If today was any reflection of how tomorrow or the rest of the tournament will go, I look forward to watching who ends up being the fairest of them all. One thing is for sure, however, I'm going to have to replace my deodorant with a prescription strength version; one more suited for the perspiration inducing excitement of March Madness! Maybe I should ask Dick Vitale what he would suggest? He usually looks pretty greasy.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Wallyworld

Wallyworld was once touted by Clark Griswald as his family's utopia in "National Lampoon's Vacation". Twenty years later, I concur -- only this time my Wallyworld refers to Wally Szczerbiak.

I've watched him go from college standout at the University of Miami of Ohio to NBA knockout.

Amongst the rest of his colleagues, Szczerbiak looks more fitted for a Daytime soap opera than he does on a basketball court. On the other hand, one only need look at laser beam like shooting to see that he's not just a pretty face.

Truth be told, I once interviewed one of Wally's former college friends for a job. I'm less than proud to admit that I took more of an interest in the potential employee's 7 degrees of Wallydom, than I did his qualifications. Turns out that the candidate attended a wedding soiree with Wally as well as being a locker room buddy, while he served as a player on University of Miami of Ohio's soccer team. I was hoping that maybe knowing him would bring me one step closer to Monsieur Szczerbiak.

In the end, I didn't hire the former pal. It may have spelled the end of a second hand Wally connection, but my adoration will continue, as if I was a thirteen year-old girl with his picture plastered on my bedroom wall like a Tigerbeat centerfold.