Butler, Baby Wipes, and Bilas...

How did I manage to schedule a 6 pm appointment on the day of the Men's NCAA College Basketball Championship?! For friggin' sake, I've got three different brackets taped to my living room wall, I started a blog as I have sold my soul to ESPN and CBS coverage of the tournament, and have a tattoo of Bryant Gumbal on my right butt cheek (okay the last one I promise was a joke).

Maybe two months ago when I set the date and time of the meeting I was subconsciously vacating myself emotionally from a potential and painful loss.

Well Butler's loss that is...

When my appt was over and I left the office around 8pm, I hesitantly turned the car stereo knob to the scratchy, barely audible, station broadcasting the game. I was fully expecting a blowout - to hear eardrum shattering cheers from Blue Devil fans. Surely Scheyer had delivered at least a Walmart sized Easter basket of threes by now.

To my satisfaction, I was completely wrong (insert "I am a glutton for punishment"). Butler was in fact down only by a deuce heading into the second half.

My drive home was speedy, albeit anxiety ridden. Probably the way Jay Bilas feels when he suspects his barber is leaving a bit too much on the sides of his normally militaristic buzzed do'.

You didn't have to get a ruler out to measure my hair, or at least the follicles standing erect on the back of my neck as my Swedish auto raced the streets of the Pacific Northwest searching for my living room's television signal. The radio blared sound bytes of close game and I couldn't help but fathom that this coach from Indiana, this guy with the boyish good looks and team full of Bullpups might just be able to pull of this Cinderella story.

Tenacious D (defense that is), kept the Bulldogs within a few points up until the last minute when they came within one -- a single basket separating them from modern day Hoosier status.

Hayward, the basketball man child, the player who I thought all season resembled a kid in my kindergarten class that sported a Kool-aid mustache everyday, had a chance to win it, but in a flash of glory, his shot just barely missed.

Zoubek's free-throw sealed the victory for Dukies everywhere -- the game was over and the Cinderella story was history. The carriage that pulled Butler to the championship game turned back into a pumpkin.

On the other hand, as a fan, I couldn't have wished for a more intense final five minutes. This was no blowout. The school with barely 4,000 students produced a team worthy of rivaling any Big East, SEC, ACC, or Whatever CC, the tournament had to throw at them.

Coach Steven's team put up a valiant effort. He's friggin' 33 years-old. In fact I believe -- about as old as one of Bill Raftery's ingrown toenails!

The Bulldogs will be back-- not the Diaper Dandy's of this season. I envision them sporting "Pull-ups" and refusing the Baby Wipes next year. Sorry Dick.

The Writing was on the Wall...

If you listened to the CBS announcers calling this afternoon's Elite 8 bout between Kentucky and West Virginia, you might be wondering when Jay Bilas plans to pop the question to Wildcat freshmen John Wall; alright, at least you would be confused as to who had actually won the game.

The sound of wedding bells might be a bit ridiculous, but it was a love fest from start to finish, as you could hear the agony in both Bilas and Dick Enberg's voices, as they watched Kentucky goon multiple three-point attempts, and brick free-throw after free-throw.

Every time West Virginia made a good play or took advantage of a Kentucky mistake, you received the impression from the announcers commentary that it was only through charity that the Mountaineers were beating the sports medias' darlings of the 2010 season. West Virginia's team may as well have been made up of nameless, faceless characters with the exception of maybe De'Sean Butler, as compared to the adoration given to the Wildcat's Demarcus Cousins and John Wall, who wanked and flailed their arms over every call that didn't go their way.

However, the love affair didn't begin in March, it gained steam over the course of the season when John Calipari made headlines when he left Memphis to take on the head coaching position at Kentucky. Promising young talent in both Cousins and Wall also lit up the blogosphere, positioning Kentucky as a worthy SEC opponent, something they've lacked in the past few seasons.

On the other hand, it didn't seem to dissuade the media too much when controversy erupted over John Wall's controversial comments criticized John Calipari's coaching earlier last year. You would think that the media would be disapproving of comments dished from a cocky freshmen to a seasoned coach, but still Vitale and the rest of the sports' aristocracy were intent on blowing this kid up, despite his bad attitude. Lucky for Wall and his squad, they were actually able to live up to most of the hype this season, as I watched them steam roll over most of the teams they faced, including the match ups during the tournament.

Today however, it was obvious that Bobby Huggin's team wasn't paying attention Bilas and Enberg''s gushing -- they were too busy smashing the Wildcats. The most satisfying feeling was at the end of the game when no amount of wanking or three pointers could save Kentucky from going home, and you saw Wall and Cousins, fouled out, watching their chances of final four action going up in flames from the bench in West Virginia's 73-66 victory.

I'm interested to see if Wall or Cousins will return next year, or take their chances on the NBA draft. If they decide the latter, Kentucky will look like a completely different team; a team that I doubt we will see making it to next year's Elite 8. Maybe by then at least the media will have found a new darling -- one from the East Coast most likely. In the meantime Bilas, get a room!

Meet Me at the Alamo

I came up with this title earlier this morning when I had predicted that two Texas teams would make it to the 2nd round. It turns out only one, Texas, who knocked off Wake Forest, will be cattle herding it up amongst their UTEP peers. Oh well, the title stays, not just because it's catchy, but because of my love for John Wayne.

Fast forward to 9pm and the list of winners has migrated to the right; that much closer to the middle of my bracket.

One note about my bracket, or should I say brackets. I have devised three different brackets to satisfy my own March Madness. The first, displays my heterotopian view of the teams that I want to win (fyi, some picks are about as likely to win as Elton John performing a singing tour for the troops), the second bracket determines who I think will most likely win, as far as RPI and talent are concerned, finally, the third follows the tournament in real time, where the blanks are filled in those who are actually moving on. I know, reality bites, like Winona Ryder said.

As far as accuracy is concerned, the only surprises today with regards to my predictions, were Old Dominion's upset over Notre Dame and Ohio's victory over the Hoyas. Murray State beat Vanderbilt, which probably shocked a few, but I don't have too much faith in the Ivy Leaguers -- remember they're not running for political office.

Before I catch up on my own Z's, I want to give a shout out to the teams I consider "Sleepers", starting with St. Mary's. The Gaels hail from the West Coast Conference, where the only team that makes headlines is Gonzaga. Sandham and the rest of his Aussie Posse (nice rhyme if I do say so myself), took it to Richmond with unmatched play in the interior from their Big Man, who combined for 29 points and 12 rebounds in the 80-71 victory.

Believe it or not, I think Utah St. also has "Sleeper" potential. I've come to this conclusion after doing extensive research, including the donning of a lab coat, the use of a beaker, as well as exploding gasses -- er, I went on the teams' website and caught their conference championship game. The Aggies were 14-2 leading in the tourney and beat BYU earlier during the season. Just keep an eye on them as they take on Texas A&M tomorrow, you might be shocked that Cache isn't just the valley their University is located at.

I won't delve into any more potential "upsetters" with the exception of the University of Washington. The beginning of their season showed a team stumbling like Bambi to find its legs post John Brockman's departure to the NBA last year. However with 7 of 7 in wins leading into the tournament, not to mention the Pac-10 title, they have much to be proud of, and should not be taken lightly by any opponent, particularly when you have stars like Quincy "Q-Pon" Pondexter and Isaiah Thomas who along with their teammates, accumulate the most points per game in all the Pac-10. I see them making a big Splash on Saturday vs. New Mexico.

For the most part, the games today were excruciatingly close, depending on who you were rooting for. Both Kansas' annihilated their opponents, but no big surprise there. In fact, most of the matches were relatively close. Look at Villanova's win over Robert Morris - the Wildcats barely clawed their way to a victory.

However, now that the day is over, I'm able to slip into my Snuggee, turn on Project Runway and prepare for tomorrow's slurry of match ups. If today was any reflection of how tomorrow or the rest of the tournament will go, I look forward to watching who ends up being the fairest of them all. One thing is for sure, however, I'm going to have to replace my deodorant with a prescription strength version; one more suited for the perspiration inducing excitement of March Madness! Maybe I should ask Dick Vitale what he would suggest? He usually looks pretty greasy.

Tournament Projections: East Coast Bias

Cal is predicted by Andy Glockner of Sport's Illustrated to go into the Big tourney as a No. 12 seed. Are you serious? Is the East Coast bias such that premier Cal players like Jerome Randle, Patrick Christopher, and Theo Roberson are not even going to see themselves in the top ten?

Look, while there is no denying the fact that the East Coast has fabulous programs, including tremendous teams like Duke, Syracuse, Kentucky, and Florida to name a few, but it is so obvious each time a new Coaches or AP poll comes out that the basketball reporting press suffers from a serious case of East Coast bias.

When ESPN set up shop in Seattle last week to broadcast the network's main prime-time matchup between the University of Washington Huskies and the UCLA Bruins, I almost blew a gasket to see Jay Bilas and Bobby Knight reporting in my own background -- in the same time zone no less. In fact it provoked an awkward, giddy feeling like the way you feel on a first date: anxious and excited, while simultaneously espousing strange body twitches and sweaty palms.

Think of the last time you saw Dick Vitale announce from another venue besides the ACC or SEC, or any East Coast "C" for that matter? I certainly can't. Maybe throw in a Texas vs. Oklahoma game for kicks, but in my experience I've never heard "Diaper Dandy" references to any West Coast players. It is my belief that the closest Vitale has been to the West Coast in recent years was most likely a Hollywood studio that he filmed his last Hooters commercial at.

In the wake of countless predictions that the Pac-10 will only receive one bid to the tournament, my question is: What's the beef ?

Certainly it has been an up and down season in the Conference, where the top five teams have traded in-conference rankings like musical chairs, but it doesn't signify a lack of talent, or that a top Pac-10 team can't beat a highly ranked East Coast opponent (think USC's win over Kentucky in January).

Maybe it has something to do with the convenience of the East's broadcasting schedule, particularly for those living on that side of the country. A blogger for instance, from Kansas, is going to be able to make a report that afternoon depending on which teams are scheduled. Whereas the WCC, or Pac-10 teams typically don't begin play until 7, he/she is going to be in bed by that time. As a result they garner less cred and often don't make it to deadline.

Ultimately, the combination of timing, the lack of viewership (with the exception of the handful of local West Coast sport's networks), and most of the dominating voices on television hailing from places like Duke, Notre Dame and Michigan (think Jay Bilas, Digger Phelps and Jalen Rose), talented teams on the West Coast are often snubbed and undervalued come ranking and tournament time.

Yuck!